


Purple Peanut

by PerryPurpleFingers



Category: Darkiplier - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Wilford Warfstache - Fandom
Genre: Established Relationship, Everyday Life, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Package
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 10:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerryPurpleFingers/pseuds/PerryPurpleFingers
Summary: Dark orders a new printer and it comes with a new toy for Wil.





	Purple Peanut

The doorbell rang, and Dark fought his way through a small wave of Jims to get to the door first. He couldn’t allow them to take another mail carrier. Not again. He reached the door, panting heavily and looked out the peep-hole to see a delivery truck drove down the road and out of view. After a sigh of relief, Dark opened the door, releasing a handful of Jims.

Sitting on the welcome mat was a fairly large package, white and simple with black duct tape. Finally, the new printer Dark ordered had arrived. It was heavier than Dark expected, but he managed to get it onto the dining room table. He figured if he office. Dark turned to find a suitable knife for opening the package. When he returned to the table, Anti was sitting on the table, working with his own blade.

“What’s this? More dildos?” teased the armed demon.

“Be careful with that,” Dark responded sternly, “It’s a new printer.”

“Did someone say dildos?” chimed Wil, peaking his head into the room.

Before Dark could explain the box to Wil, Anti tore it open. He thrust his hands into the package and pulled out a shiny black printer. He set it on the table and stared at Dark. “Oh, you weren’t kidding.”

“No dildos?” Wil asked, partially disappointed.

“No, no dildos,” muttered Dark.

Dark quickly snatched the printer before it could be damaged. “Wil, when you get a second, could you take this to my office?” Dark asked as he moved the device to a nearby coffee table.

“Sure thing, Darky,” chirped Wil.

No longer interested in the box, Anti slid the package to Wil. “And, don’t forget to throw this out.” However, Wil ignored the order and gazed into the container.’

“What are these?” Wil inquired, holding a purple Styrofoam object.

Anti plucked it out of the pink man’s fingers and inspected it sarcastically. “It’s a packaging peanut, doofus,” joked Anti, flicking it at Wil’s face.

Without another word, Wil popped a purple peanut into his mouth. Dark immediately ran over to Wil and tried to pry the Styrofoam from his mouth. Anti only fell onto his back, laughing.

“Spit that out! You idiot! You’re going to choke!” shouted Dark, still fighting Wil for the peanut.

Rather that listen to Dark’s command, Wil swallowed the purple piece of Styrofoam. It wasn’t particularly difficult for Wil, but Dark was horrified. The shadowy demon briskly tried to give Wil the Heimlich. However, the difference in their size made it a bit too difficult for Dark to yield any effect. At this point, Anti’s laughter rose to a full on cackle. He could barely breathe at the sight of the smaller man desperately trying to force the larger man into releasing the peanut.

“Help?! Please?!” Dark pleaded to Anti. However, the amused demon paid him no attention. Without any assistance, Dark only managed to wrestle Wil to the floor, much to Anti’s delight. The massive thud caused the peanut to fly out of Wil’s throat. In seconds, Dark was on his feet and kicking the dislodged object as far away as possible.

After removing the original Styrofoam culprit, Dark turned to see Wil darting after the rest of the box. Time seemed to slow as Dark raced toward the table, urgently trying to get there before Wil. Anti, eyes wide at the change of scene. The two men charging toward him gave him no chance to evade the inevitable collision.

“Shit!” was the last word the trio heard as Wil and Dark tripped over each other. The entanglement of pink and grey drifted across the table and crashed into both the package and Anti. The heap of demons and bubblegum watched as the package conveniently continued its path across the table and out the randomly open window, sending the purple peanuts scattered along the street beneath.

“Good thing it wasn’t dildos,” teased Anti, resulting in a smack upside the head from Dark.


End file.
